Night like this

It's the nights like these that are hard. The ones where I am frantically running around the house baking brownies, putting on make up, and putting some hair spray in my hair. The smell of my perfume overtakes my room. I can't find my shoes. I begin to walk around the house getting everything that I need, crossing things off out loud as I go through my list. Brownies, check. Christmas present, check. Camera, check. White elephant gift, shoot... I still need one. I glance at the clock and I'm running behind. I grab the first thing I can think of - Sensual aroma therapy body wash from the shower and a stain stick from my basket with all of the laundry supplies in it. This will do. Grab some Target sacks and stuff the Starbucks bag as though it is tissue paper. Find my coat and scarf and begin to put those on. I'm missing something. Oh, the brownies. They are still warm from the oven, so I have to grab a few hand towels to carry them to the car. My arms are full. My hair is perfect somehow, and I smell good. I fumble my way to the car and get everything in place. It's cold. Really cold. Somehow I love Minnesota and I hate the bitter cold, but thats a topic for another day. One of my favorite songs is playing on the radio, and so inevitably I turn it up. I'm impatient, so a few seconds later I put the car in reverse and speed out of the parking lot. But as I'm driving, I get to thinking. The place I am going is full of my friends whom I love and adore. However, most of them are either engaged or married. And then there is me. Of course I am not the only one there who isn't in a relationship, but for some reason I feel the pressure tonight more than ever. Why? I am not in a hurry to get married, seriously. But what is it about the Christmas season that makes it even harder to not be with someone? So I get there, and the night is full of laughter and fun - as I knew it would be. I adore my friendships. But then it's time for me to head home, to an empty apartment. I walk in the door and throw my stuff down on the floor. Put some dishes in the dishwasher. Wash my face. Refuse to take my hair down because it actually looks surprisingly good for once and even though nobody can see it, I know it looks good. I put on my new nighty. Nighties are one of my favorite things. A woman can never have too many. However, this one particular is amazing. It's new, so of course it has that "new" feel. It makes me feel like a woman. I walk past my mirror on the way out to the living room and suddenly I stop. Begin to stare. Begin to wish. Wish that on a night like tonight I could have gone to this party with someone and had someone to come home with. Someone to wear this for. Someone. It's nights like tonight that make me wish I were not alone.